As usual, be advised that there are spoilers after the read more.
Episode 9: To Be Suspected
Amanda: I’ve listened to episode 9 twice as of the time I’m writing this. In fact, I’m listening to it as I type. More than any other, this episode has pulled at my heartstrings. As time has passed and I’ve gotten more and more into Serial, I’m starting to feel as though it is not my place to say “I think Adnan is innocent” because I am no authority. I’m nobody to say that I think Jay is a liar…and is Jay a liar? I mean, I will never know but I just feel that there is simply not enough to have put Adnan in jail for all of this time. But this is a testament to our legal system: is it better to have someone in jail rather than no one?
The hardest part for me was hearing Adnan say that it would be easier for his parents to sleep at night if he would just admit that he had killed Hae. Either Adnan is an amazing sociopathic liar or…he’s just telling the truth. I just find it remarkable that we can all at least sympathize with Adnan, whether we think he’s guilty or innocent. So many of us feel for him and hurt inside knowing that this man has spent so much of his life behind bars, especially when we just don’t know if he deserves to be there. In my opinion, the only reason Adnan would continue to deny killing Hae, if he had in fact done it, would be if he believed there is a chance that he could one day be free. Of course, I doubt many people completely give up hope but, I don’t know, it just seems so hard to still believe that could even be a possibility once you’ve spent 15 years in jail. I know I probably would believe only as a way to stay sane while I was imprisoned but 15 years is a long time…I don’t know if I could do it if I was constantly reminded that nobody believed me…unless I really didn’t do it.
I guess I’m kind of rambling at this point and I just don’t have a clear thought yet. I’m beginning to feel more and more strange about all of this, I feel like it is weird that we just discuss these things in a social setting while this is real life. These are not characters, they are real. Adnan Syed is a real man and Hae Lee was a real girl and her family is, I’m sure, still suffering. Serial is groundbreaking and engrossing but we can’t forget all of this. I can only hope that as we are all eagerly awaiting the next episode, these families are not reliving all of this pain. I guess this blog post has taken a weird turn, especially compared to my other posts about Serial but, like I said, this episode made me feel a lot and I’m more ready than ever to find out how all of this ends.
A final edit: I just listened to Slate’s Serial Spoiler Special for episode 9 and watched the interview CBS did with Adnan’s brother and mother and I feel a little bit better knowing that they also listen to to Serial. If nothing else does end up happening in the actual episodes of Serial, I think I would be content knowing that The Innocence Project has taken on this case. It’s just a tough situation – obviously nobody wants Adnan to walk free if he did it. David Haglund’s (from the Slate Special) words stuck with me: whether Adnan did it or not is not the issue Sarah is often addressing but instead if there was enough to convict him. We cannot necessarily say that Adnan didn’t do it (we probably will never be able to say that with certainty), but we can potentially come to a point where it can be determined if there is enough reasonable evidence to keep him in jail.