Episode 11: Rumors
Going to do this episode like I did last week, “live-blogging” it aka writing as I listen.
- I’m a few minutes into the episode and I’m already feeling like I may need to go back and listen again. Did I miss something…or are we actually just getting very vague outlines presented here? “I heard this rumor…so incriminating… Someone said something about Adnan…” what? What is going on? This is a weird opening.
- People who knew Adnan are afraid to come forward and talk to Sarah, whether about new information or just about who Adnan is as a person. Like Sarah, I can understand this, especially if people fear that they could just as easily have been in his shoes simply because they decided to give a girl a ride somewhere. I mean, immediately following the case, parents were even afraid for their children to get the mail. Clearly, Adnan’s situation had a huge impact and even still incites fear in this community.
- I’ve really grown to hate hearing nice things about Adnan sometimes. It makes me feel so sad. I know nice people are perfectly capable of doing terrible things and should still be held accountable but man, I just don’t know. I’m still not sure if Adnan did it, but I’ve always leaned more towards thinking that he’s innocent. All of these nice things, like him standing up for the boy who was getting picked on, just make me so sad, especially in contrast with Sarah saying that so many people partly blame themselves for Adnan’s situation. Adnan gets talked about in these circles all the time but never gets talked to – so many of these people feel guilty or remember him being a great guy but he hasn’t heard from any of them in a very long time. I know they didn’t want to get involved in the case but it just really sucks that Adnan is sitting in jail, maybe guilty, maybe not, but either way, he’s had virtually no contact with most of these people in 15 years. Anyway, I’m having a difficult time articulating what I mean, but I just feel weird about it.
- People think that Adnan is a psychopath and that he is duplicitous, that he can weasel his way out of things and use his charm to get his way. I can see what they may mean – if that’s the case, then he’s already won so many of us over. But, if he’s sincere, then I feel bad again. It is almost like the boy who cried wolf – maybe Adnan used his charm for silly things when he was younger but murder? Murder is entirely different. I’m sure if he was actually a psychopath then he’d be capable of it but I also think it is rather difficult to assume how someone might act in that situation. Plus, for all we know, he’s just telling the truth.
- Re: Adnan stealing money from the mosque donations. Okay, yes, Adnan definitely should not have stolen the money, but it is a huuuuge leap to tie an 8th grader’s ability to skim money to being capable of cold-blooded murder. And exactly as Adnan said, this does not have to do with the case – this is just bringing up childish dumb things he did in the past that may maybe, sorta, kinda make it easier to believe that he is “terrible person.”
- Some people seem to think that it is possible that Adnan doesn’t even remember committing the murder (even Sarah) – I find that kind of hard to buy. I mean, would he instead believe he was in the library the entire time? Would he fill this gap in his memory with a completely different story? Or would he have lost time? I don’t know how this works though so what do I know?
- As usual, gotta agree with Sarah: I just don’t think Adnan is a psychopath. I think this is easily supported by his letter to Sarah. Clearly, Adnan walks a fine line. He doesn’t want to get too close to Sarah and come off as possibly manipulative, yet he doesn’t want to be too cold and come off as not empathetic. He just can’t win here.
- Next week is our last episode. I’m not sure what is to come, I can only hope Sarah has something that we don’t know yet that may give us a glimmer of hope for some sort of eventual conclusion, even if that conclusion occurs in real life, outside of the podcast.