This Week on Reality TV: Why ‘The Bachelor’ sucks after the hometown girls are picked

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The Bachelor is an entertaining fixture in my life that I’m not ashamed to say I watch as soon as possible. But, the past couple of episodes of The Bachelor have been underwhelming and predictable. After Week 7, the show has, sadly, focused on “finding love” and all that mumbo jumbo we know is statistically likely to fall flat in a few months. So, instead of focusing on the funny and the dramatic, we’re left with the serious women who want to get married and have Chris’s babies. We’ve gone from 30 women to the final few and thus, we’ve had our laughter compromised for Chris’s unrealistic love story. Thanks a lot, Chris!

Let’s take a better look at exactly what I’m talking about.

Remember Ashley S.? The definition of “Crazy Girl on The Bachelor”? The comedy gold we got from Ashley S. should not be forgotten. From creepily and quietly strutting up to interrupt Chris’s interview with production to when she was finally booted, leaving the show by saying “All I have to say is… nothing.” To me, this is more hilarious given that her audition tape was apparently pretty normal and genuine.

We also can’t forget the laughs we got from Jordan. Her drunk interviews and twerking were the best. (As Mackenzie said, “Cheers to Jordan. She’s drunk tonight, she was drunk yesterday, she was drunk the day before, she’s gonna be drunk tomorrow”).

jordan

ABC

Another girl I will not forget anytime soon is Jillian. I think of the black box digitally placed on her “rock-hard ass” whenever she wore anything other than pants or a long dress/skirt and it brings me instant sadness because no one has made me laugh on this show since she left.

jillian

ABC

Aside from the comedy, I tune into The Bachelor for the drama in general. And sure, The Bachelor has still prided itself in advertising the past two episodes (hometowns and the fantasy suite) as “full of drama.” However, let’s be real. We all knew Chris was going to be okay with Jade posing for Playboy and with Becca waiting for marriage. There is no need to amp us up as if Chris would blow up and automatically make these women go home. Chris is not that person.

But before hometowns we had it good. We had Kelsey and her preposterous re-imagining of her life after her husband passed away. Literally, she told us this was a story about her overcoming her late husband’s death to find love–“and you can watch it Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.” If that’s not meta and amazing then I don’t know what is.

We also had Ashley I. debacles every week—the girl was constantly stressed about giving Chris the right impression. Now put those two girls, Kelsey and Ashley I., on a two-on-one and what do you get? The best episode of the season, of course, which culminated with Kelsey staring daggers at Ashley I. and telling her, “I know what you did” while looking absolutely terrifying. The best part was probably production taking away one suitcase at a time from the hotel room occupied by the other girls for dramatic effect. I was as taken aback and in full shock-face mode as Britt, Carly, Kaitlyn, and the others.

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ABC

And finally, let us not forget Britt’s departure and overall characterization. The girl went from getting the first impression rose to lying about wanting to move to Arlington and having 100 babies, to confronting Chris because she needed to always be number one–in front of the girl who got a rose over her! That girl has guts–and brought the drama.

ABC

ABC

You must be saying to yourself, “This show is not about drama and funniness! It’s about Chris Soules finding his true love.”

I must disagree! In the past 18 seasons of The Bachelor and 10 seasons of The Bachelorette, do you know how many people have actually found a husband or wife? You can count the number of successful couples with the fingers in one hand.

So really, The Bachelor is not for finding love. It’s for the viewers to indulge in comedy and drama in reality form. And that’s why I miss the episodes before hometowns–when The Bachelor made me constantly laugh and gasp.


The Bachelor airs on Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC. (Wow, I sound like Kelsey!)

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